Tag: expanding minds

Forgiveness <> Forgetfulness

A religious leader stands up and confesses that he raped a teenager when he was in his 20s and the church gives him a standing ovation. He committed a crime and his congregation gives him a standing ovation! Where are the consequences for his criminal behavior? Are the consequences washed away in forgiveness?

“Religious leaders use forgiveness theology as a cover, and as an avoidance, of accountability,” Brown told The Washington Post. “And it’s a way of further shaming victims. ‘What a bad girl you are, you aren’t forgiving.’”

This is maddening! This “forgive & forget” crap is one of the reasons I can no longer identify with many Christians….I remember when so called religious leaders told me to forgive my abusive first husband AFTER I kicked him out of my home. One religious leader (referred to here as “mr minister” witnessed, first hand,  my ex’s explosive anger directed at me, where the ex grabbed me & threw me across a room in my home when the “well meaning” mr minister attempted to counsel him on his Christianity and our marriage. I had not asked him to do this, but I had informed mr minister of my ex husband’s volatility (he didn’t believe me). 
Mr minister was out of his depth, didn’t know the first thing about handling a family in crisis and had no business attempting to intervene. His only counsel to me was repeating Bible verses about how a wife is to submit to her husband, how the man is the head of the house, how women take a subservient role to men ALWAYS… and then finishing off with the statement, “as harsh as it may sound, you have no biblical grounds to leave this marriage.” Then months later showing up at my door to warn me about being sure to fulfill my wifely duties so my husband was not tempted to wander from the marriage.  

THIS THIS THIS is the kind of support these so called Evangelical religious leaders show for their female congregants. THIS is why these women support Donald Trump…they are not allowed to think for themselves… they get whacked with Bible verses to keep them in place and subservient to their abusive fathers,  husbands, male church members, and the abusive religious leadership. And they are told over and over and over again that they must forgive and forget to be good Christians. 

It was an epiphany that finally freed me from my abusive marriage. I realized that forgiveness did not mean I must allow my abuser to come back into my life to abuse me again. I can forgive, but I do not forget. Forgiveness with no accountability is foolishness.

Read the Washington Post article here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/01/10/a-pastor-admitted-a-past-sexual-incident-with-a-teen-his-congregation-gave-him-a-standing-ovation/

And you shall know them by their fruits

Ok, so everyone has moments of grace every now and then. If the items on this list truly happened, they are isolated incidents. 

Isolated incidents of grace or failing do not define a person’s character. It is the daily practices and habits of a person that defines character. (If someone really dug hard enough and long enough, one might find some isolated incidents of failure in Mother Teresa’s life).

So what kind of frequent, prolonged grace is Donald Trump known for? None come to mind. His isolated incidents of grace only tell me that he is capable of generosity and grace, which makes it all the more intolerable when I observe his constant and continued failings at humanity as the leader of the free world. Clearly, he is capable of grace and generosity, but he chooses selfishness and self interest most of the time.

 “White Privilege” & Confronting My Own Racism

When I read the essay I’ve linked below, I remembered a conversation about race I had several years ago with a black coworker, a man who I respected and who was a friend, and a safe person to discuss such things…I knew he would not be offended by my questions and would be honest in his answers. He commented that he knew that many white women were uneasy around him when they encountered him on the street. He told me he noticed the women in their cars as he walked by, the expressions on their faces as they looked to make sure their doors were locked. I thought to myself, “I do that too when I’m in my car.”

It opened my eyes to the insidious racism that infects my thinking. When I catch myself, I take conscious effort to root it out. It is a continuous effort.

At least I am aware that it exists. Awareness at least challenges me to be better, to do better, to confront these thoughts.

In the last several months , I have been confronted with the concept of “white privilege.” I’m not sure I fully comprehend yet what it means to me as a white woman, how I need to acknowledge it, and what actions I need to take in my own life to root it out, but I am trying.

“It isn’t Richard Spencer calling the cops on me for farming while Black. It’s nervous White women in yoga pants with ‘I’m with Her’ and ‘Coexist’ stickers on their German SUVs.”

A message to Charlotteville from a black farmer

Atlanta’s Women’s March for Social Justice

Here’s an impressive picture that was taken of the March for Social Justice & Women in Atlanta yesterday. (I didn’t take the picture…I was one of the pink dots in the picture).

I got home too late last night to watch the evening news but my husband watched the news and told me the count was at around 60,000 marchers in Atlanta! The organizers had estimated about 10,000 marchers and yesterday morning we all woke up to pouring rain, thunder & lightening. I did not rethink my decision to go, but I hoped that the rain would not prevent others from showing up.

When took the subway to town, and when I exited the train at the CNN station I was elated to see the crowds of people that were in the station…As I emerged from the station, it was exciting to see the large crowds that were gathering up on the street level….And the rain stopped !

The subway stop was several blocks from the starting point and as I walked the crowds who were walking beside me just got bigger and bigger. It was like I was floating along in a river with branches and tributaries dumping more and more marchers into it….

It was hard to get a sense of the numbers of sisters & brothers who showed up to march, but I knew it was a lot. Every where I looked I saw crowds of people.

When I approached the park where all the crowds were gathering I was at a higher elevation and I could look down and see a large body of people. It was amazing!

Today as I read about the march in Atlanta, DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle, and across the nation and across the globe I am humbled, joyous, elated, encouraged, and energized. And now the real work begins….