Forgiveness <> Forgetfulness

A religious leader stands up and confesses that he raped a teenager when he was in his 20s and the church gives him a standing ovation. He committed a crime and his congregation gives him a standing ovation! Where are the consequences for his criminal behavior? Are the consequences washed away in forgiveness?

“Religious leaders use forgiveness theology as a cover, and as an avoidance, of accountability,” Brown told The Washington Post. “And it’s a way of further shaming victims. ‘What a bad girl you are, you aren’t forgiving.’”

This is maddening! This “forgive & forget” crap is one of the reasons I can no longer identify with many Christians….I remember when so called religious leaders told me to forgive my abusive first husband AFTER I kicked him out of my home. One religious leader (referred to here as “mr minister” witnessed, first hand,  my ex’s explosive anger directed at me, where the ex grabbed me & threw me across a room in my home when the “well meaning” mr minister attempted to counsel him on his Christianity and our marriage. I had not asked him to do this, but I had informed mr minister of my ex husband’s volatility (he didn’t believe me). 
Mr minister was out of his depth, didn’t know the first thing about handling a family in crisis and had no business attempting to intervene. His only counsel to me was repeating Bible verses about how a wife is to submit to her husband, how the man is the head of the house, how women take a subservient role to men ALWAYS… and then finishing off with the statement, “as harsh as it may sound, you have no biblical grounds to leave this marriage.” Then months later showing up at my door to warn me about being sure to fulfill my wifely duties so my husband was not tempted to wander from the marriage.  

THIS THIS THIS is the kind of support these so called Evangelical religious leaders show for their female congregants. THIS is why these women support Donald Trump…they are not allowed to think for themselves… they get whacked with Bible verses to keep them in place and subservient to their abusive fathers,  husbands, male church members, and the abusive religious leadership. And they are told over and over and over again that they must forgive and forget to be good Christians. 

It was an epiphany that finally freed me from my abusive marriage. I realized that forgiveness did not mean I must allow my abuser to come back into my life to abuse me again. I can forgive, but I do not forget. Forgiveness with no accountability is foolishness.

Read the Washington Post article here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/01/10/a-pastor-admitted-a-past-sexual-incident-with-a-teen-his-congregation-gave-him-a-standing-ovation/

And you shall know them by their fruits

Ok, so everyone has moments of grace every now and then. If the items on this list truly happened, they are isolated incidents. 

Isolated incidents of grace or failing do not define a person’s character. It is the daily practices and habits of a person that defines character. (If someone really dug hard enough and long enough, one might find some isolated incidents of failure in Mother Teresa’s life).

So what kind of frequent, prolonged grace is Donald Trump known for? None come to mind. His isolated incidents of grace only tell me that he is capable of generosity and grace, which makes it all the more intolerable when I observe his constant and continued failings at humanity as the leader of the free world. Clearly, he is capable of grace and generosity, but he chooses selfishness and self interest most of the time.

Reflections on a lovely evening

The Douglas County Chamber Singers Christmas concert was last night and as I reflect on the evening, I feel so many emotions. I have sung with this group for 16 years (I missed the very first concert). I am honored to be a part of the Singers and have learned so much about choral singing from our conductor Vickie Orme.

I am humbled by and appreciative of the people who turn up to listen to our concerts. I am thankful to the musical composers and song masters who have created the beautiful songs we sing. I am thankful to the United Methodist Church of Douglasville for allowing us to sing this beautiful music in their beautiful sanctuary with it’s gorgeous stained glass windows, graceful wooden arches and its wonderful organ.

I am especially thankful to Vickie Orme, our conductor, to Deanne Ohman, our pianist, and to all of the singers in the Chamber Singers for their loyalty, their commitment, their flexibility, and their love of music.

Together we lift our voices in celebration, love, and devotion to each other, to the world around us, to our fellow humans, and to the God that we love.

Happy, blessed and safe holidays to all during this last month of the year.

Last night I saturated my dry hair with this stuff, put on a shower cap & left it for about 30 minutes. Then I shampooed & conditioned as usual. I let my hair dry naturally and my hair is soft, smooth, shiny and not frizzy…it also feels like it has more body in it.

I can’t vouch that it will do much for brown, black or blond hair, but I’m liking it for my silver hair.

Please Join the NeedleNerds Email List

Complete the form below to start receiving email updates and announcements about the NeedleNerds.

* indicates required




If you decide later to stop the emails, you can select the unsubscribe link that is on every email you receive.

I use MailChimp to manage the list, but rest assured, I maintain control of the email list. It will always be private and I will never share your email address with anyone.

Learn More & Connect with the NeedleNerds

  • Click here to read more about the NeedleNerds
  • Connect with us on Twitter and Ravelry by clicking on the icons below.

twitterravelry